Most times parents have to sift through bits of advice, caution, opinions and experiences for them to come up with sound parenting tips and decide on how to handle their kids. At times like these, new parents are offered advice by fellow parents, their elders and anyone who has held a crying baby before.

These parents read through volumes of parenting books and watch movies with parenting themes with the hope that they might pick up a lesson or two to apply to their kids. It is at times like these that they wish that their role came with a manual.

When deciding on how to deal with their children, first time parents have everyone around advising them on the best parenting model and approach to use on their kids. A lot of this advice comes from personal experiences or tales told through generations.

Angie Umwali Sayinzoga is a 25-year old first time mother, and this is what she had to say, "Whenever I have a problem with my child I consult my mother, she is a mother to five children who turned out right. I know circumstances might have changed but parental wisdom increases with advance in age.”

Even if Angie looks up to her mother for parenting advice, she cannot turn a deaf ear to the stories she hears from her friends on how each one deals with their children. "As much as I look up to my mother, every now and then I meet people, friends and colleagues with stories on how they deal with their children. It is tempting to take up every bit of advice you hear because at times you are desperate on how best to go about your child’s development,” said Angie.

According to 32-year old mother of three, Odette Ingabire, advice is often offered with the best of intentions. However, this can easily make you miss something while bringing up your child.

"You can not apply other people’s models when bringing up your children. Circumstances and people differ, what worked for your friend’s child may not necessarily wok for you as it was probably under different set of facts.” 

From experience, Ingabire advises that even though it is your first time being a parent, one should not bring up your child by the findings of other peoples ‘researches’ and opinions. "The reason why you go out to pick up this advice, books and opinions is because you are trying to be a good parent, but that should not make you ignore and lock out your parental instinct on what is good for your child.”

Whether through books, videos, advice or friends’ tales there is always a lesson to pick. One just has to do it with a pinch of salt. As Ingabire says, "not everything you hear or see is right.”